counting...

517 days.

1 year and 5 months.

73 weeks and 6 days.

12,408 hours.

744,480 minutes.

44,668,800 seconds.

On the 17th of every month I can't help but think of the passing of my dad. In my head I add another month to how long he has been gone. I wonder if i'll ever stop counting.

Some Most days I just really wish my dad was here. He always knew exactly what to say. He always had the right answer. He always made me smile. Even though I got married and started my own family, I was always his baby girl and he always took care of me. I think of his laugh and his infectious smile daily. I think of how he managed to balance everything just perfectly and how he was never too busy if I needed him. I think of him with my mom and how no one else could have been so perfect for her. I think of how I hope people think that same thing about me and Logan. I see so much of my dad in him. I fell in love with a man that reminds me of the first man I ever loved. I think of all his funny stories and I wonder how on earth someone as amazing as my dad could have such crazy stories... like the time he stomped in the roof of a car who door dinged him or how he filled a girls house with bull frogs from a swamp near by. I think of how much my son absolutely adored him. How he gave him a blue dum-dum sucker when he was just a month old and it gave him blue poop. I think of our spur of the moment vacation to Hawaii just 3 months before he died. I think about just him and I walking around his old high school and how excited he was to see some things hadn't changed. He was so giddy and childlike. I think about when I was little and he would bring home cool cars from work and take me for rides in cars I had never even heard of. I will forever wish I had a red plymouth prowler. My dad was pretty fantastic. He wasn't just my dad, he truly was one of my very best friends. I could tell him anything...and I did. I miss sitting in his office and talking about our days. I miss spending time together. I miss his presence at each and every family get together. I feel like things were much less dramatic with him around. I am so thankful that I know I will see him again. I am thankful I know that families are together forever. I try not to be sad that my dad is not on this earth anymore. I'm sure that in time, the tears will flow less frequently, as they have in the past 17 months, and I will continue to remember my dad and smile and think of how much he meant to me. I will try to live my life and he would want me to and I will live by his example. I will try to be more patient, kind, loving, hard working, faithful, optimistic, and just plain happy. Until we meet again dad... I miss you.